Month: October 2016

Be here, be happy.

Future is not promised, past doesn’t matter. Only thing that is real – now and here. This moment. This is perhaps most valuable lesson I have learned in my life. Being here. One thing is to learn it, to acknowledge it, another to apply and practice it in everyday life.

It is not as simple as one might think. “Of course I am here and now, where could I else be if not here, silly?!” some might shout. Well, physically you are here, but where is your mind? Is your mind in this moment? Are you capable to describe everything that is going on right now in this instant? Your body inhales and exhales the air or you do it with your body? Your heart beats itself or do you beat your heart? What about your arms, legs and fingers? Do they move themselves or do you move them? Who is blinking your eyes? Can you make and feel them blink?

I will assume that you are sitting at laptop or in your bed and browsing through internet at this chilled autumn day. What are your surroundings? Close your eyes right now and imagine your surroundings in your head. Do it now. I will wait! Now, without looking around – make a list of everything that is around you. Some of the things you see everyday without even thinking about their existence or placement. Now think about them, but don’t look!

Now look. How precise is your image in your head? How precise is your list? Are you really now and here?

I found joy in being now and here. It amazed me how much it amazes other people if you posses knowledge about your surroundings and what is happening in that particular moment. People are used to be here with their bodies, but somewhere else in their minds. Always rushing, always thinking, never calming down and looking around. Confusing. We rush for the future which never comes, never will come. There will always be the next step, the next move, next, next, next…

Learn from cats. Or dogs. Cat can sit still for tens of minutes, for hours in middle of a meadow and observe it’s surroundings. Dogs might not be so focused, but you will see them to play whatever there is to play with. Branches, butterflies, birds, humans, balls. Whatever is around is interesting to them. Ha, it used to us too! When we were kids. If you happened to grow up at a countryside I bet you did spend hours looking at anthills, exploring one tree or a bush for days, observing different kind of rocks. For kids that is still interesting, fascinating even. When did we lose this ability to be in the moment?

Don’t rush. Stop for a moment and enjoy it. Next time you drink water – taste it. Next time when you eat – eat. Don’t think about work, think about that tasty flavour that is filling your mouth. When you drink tea – drink it slowly and with care, let the hot liquid fill your body with warm feelings.

Be here, be happy.

 

~V.R.

Forget excuses!

“Winners don’t make excuses, when the other side plays the game.” /Harvey Specter “Suits”

In life comes moments when you fail more than usually. No matter what you are doing – outcome just isn’t in favour of you. Then there are moments when you fail because of somebody else. Those are the moments many of us start to make excuses. I have done it, I have seen other people do(-ing) it and I can bet you have done it too, maybe even still doing it. STOP.

Excuses don’t produce solutions, they drag you down and degrade your spirit and good characteristics. Instead – learn the game. If somebody succeeds by blocking you, taking opportunity that was supposedly meant to be yours – they are just better in game you are playing. Sure sometimes someone get lucky, but mostly it is how good you know the game and how much you hate losing.

“You have to hate losing more than you love winning. /Will Smith”

This is the truth. You lose to someone when:

1. He/She is better at the game.
2. He/She hates losing more than you do.
3. Both.

What can you do about it? Shut up, set your goals and priorities and work on your game. If your boss, coach, superior or whoever asks what is going on – admit that you failed and go learn the game, do the work. If you keep losing, if you feel like – “why I have to do this?”, if you can’t get your work done – YOUR GOALS AND PRIORITIES are not set right.

You either have set the wrong goals or you don’t see means of your current position to achieving the goals you have set. Simple as that. Game is the same for everyone else, rules are the same for everyone else. I learned that through basketball and it proved to be true in every aspect in life. No matter – professional athlete, entrepreneur, blue/white collar worker, unemployed, student, coach etcetera. Game is the same in your field for all.

One may be in bad situation. Only one can get him/herself out of this situation and achieve the life he/she want.

1. Set goals and priorities.
2. Learn the game.
3. Play hard.
4. Achieve.

No excuses.

~V.R.

Can’t give more than 100%?

Some time ago, like last week or one before that, I read some views on “how you can’t give more than 100%” (sadly, I lost the link on that post and cannot share…) where author was pointing out the fact, that it is only possible to give just 100% at any given moment and that folks (motivators, gurus, coaches) saying to give 110%, 120% or even 121% are wrong, because it is only possible to give as much as 100%.

The point is fair enough and physically it wouldn’t really make much sense to be able to give over 100%, right? For example, if you have a 1 Liter bowl it would be dumb to think that you can pour 1,21 Liter water in it and bowl will hold it. No, it will overflow! This 1 Liter is it’s capacity of 100% and it can’t contain 121% of liquid, silly! This point is legit indeed.

Now, it got me thinking though, how we humans deal with things and again I managed to remember some things out of my own life. I have this friend who once studied in a University. She once told me that she was getting some 110% or 115% on her tests out of 100%. I was like – but how is that possible? She explained – once you are done with the standard test part which will give you 100% you can go extra mile and write about topics (or answer questions) about stuff you’ve learned on your own, outside of required curriculum.

Here is another example out of my school life. Our teachers were strictly on point giving grades 8 (out of 10) if you did your test 100% right. They thought it is not worth a 10/10 if you just learn what they give to you. So we asked what we would have to do to get a 10? They added some random questions at the end and if you got the time and could answer them – you would get  a 10/10. Needless to say, it would require extra work, extra reading and extra research out of school program in order to know answers on those extra questions – because they were random every single time. Once in a while someone (who possessed the random knowledge)  could answer them and raise the bar.

I think these two samples are enough understand how we humans function and build our lives on doing more. Success will come to those going that extra mile. Random stuff will always be in your way for you to prove that you are better, smarter, more prepared, readier than someone else and you are ready to take opportunity presented to you.

That is called giving 121%. Always doing extra. Bowl will get full with 100%, but you will be able to get another bowl by doing 121%. And meanwhile someone else will fill 10 full bowls you will be at 12 full bowls and starting your 13th. And when the time will come, when the opportunity will present itself before you – you will be ahead with your 2.1 bowls ready to grab it, ready to put that extra knowledge and “know-how” in work. Make it happen. Be ready. Give 121%.

~V.R.

Change.

“Before you try to change the World, go three times through your own house.” /Chinese Proverb

Change the World. It seems that is what we need. Despite the fact we are at very good point at the moment – what will future bring if we continue this way? The way of rush, money, needless stuff, spending more and more, producing more and more. One have to just stop for a moment to realize what we are doing as a society, as a civilization. Where do we start the change?

As the proverb suggests – go through your house three times… What does that mean? Simply put, get to know yourself before doing anything else. Chinese are not the only ones who has understood the importance of starting journey with oneself. Socrates before 2400(!) years put it in two words: “Know thyself.” So simple yet it seems that so few do it nowadays… Around some 100 years ago Gandhi started a movement using this approach: “Be the change you want to see in the World.” So, nothing new there… or? One I know for sure, I had to read a lot and speak with wiser and more experienced people to realize and learn importance of “knowing thyself”.

Now, stop at this very moment – take a blank piece of paper (or whatever writing space you prefer), a pen and write a letter to yourself. It will take a few minutes (maybe longer), but it will get you started. Write about your feelings, emotions, visions, experiences. Ask yourself questions. Write yourself out. Get creative. Try to “know thyself”. This is the key to growth.

Start with describing your childhood. What do you think about your parents (or guardians). How did they raise you? How do you feel about that? What did you like or didn’t like? How their parental style affected your development? How do you feel about teachers and mentors in your life? What do you think about your personal growth as a human being? How do you teach your kids (or how do you think you will teach them)? Who has the power over you? Over who do you have the power?

Go on, keep writing. Keep getting to know yourself. This is just a start of your new journey.

~V.R.

From in to out.

“In order to control myself I must first accept myself by going with and not against my nature.” /Bruce Lee

Many want to alter the world and as many want to do it from outside – in. Things don’t happen that way. Flowers, trees grow from inside to outside, beings from eggs grow from inside out, humans grow from IN of a mother and come OUT in this World. How can you change World starting with outside?

Everything starts with realization that you must alter your inner-self in order to alter something outer. To alter your inner-self you must understand who you are. In this moment. Understand and ACCEPT that you are who you are because of what you did in the past. You are now here because of your mindset, viewpoint, temperament, surroundings. Taken this course of life because that is who you are naturally.

Once understanding takes place of ones nature – one can take oneself in control and start growing from inside to outside. Flow in the right direction. By flowing with nature of oneself and taking inner being in control – outer world will alter immediately. Change is inside every one of us.

~V.R.

No tomorrow.

“Live like you were dying. Love because you are.” /Mark Green

It is funny sometimes – we think that everything will last. Despite the history of our World, our ancestors, us. Despite of all that is going on right next to us, around us. That is human nature I guess. Hope, belief and love keeps us going. And in period that is yet most peaceful of human history – get us sleepy. Recently I came to realization (which can vary in future, of course) that the most important drive becomes from love in our lives, if we realize that it can end at any moment. Once you find the strength in yourself to love, nothing seems impossible or too hard. It turns on a force that pulls you forward. No more pushing yourself, no more excuses, no more hardness in ones mind. Once you find the love for yourself, for people next to you and even your annoying neighbour… for the World – that is the moment one can realize how beautiful life can be. It opens oneself to new experiences and horizons. For me it comes with one more condition though – knowing that this love might as well be the only thing that is left after everything is done. Evil never lasts.

We ALL will die. Eventually. That is the unforgivable truth of our World, There can be speculations about us going to other dimensions, afterlife or even about rebirth, but no one knows it for sure. One is clear all the way – at some point of our life, sooner or later, we will leave our body behind. We will die. It seems that many people don’t realize that. They live like everything will last forever, but it won’t. They live like there is time, but there isn’t. They dream and postpone or even abandon their dreams because there will be that perfect moment in life where everyone can make their “dreams come true”, but there won’t be that perfect moment or time. We will die. With or without our dreams fulfilled – we will die. There is but one moment in this life to be lived. It is NOW and it is HERE together with people around you. There is but one person who can change yourself – take a look in the mirror. That is why these lines are being written. There might not be another time for that.

Stop fucking around. There is no tomorrow, There is no “sometime in the future” with rainbows and pretty butterflies shitting cookies all over the place. There is this moment and YOU with all your being in time and space and people around you. Find that love within yourself, Find that drive and make it happen. Not tomorrow, not one week from now. Make it happen this very moment. World is beautiful and unforgiving. Bring in this world the best of you. Love, feel, create, live. Otherwise it will be one more wasted lifetime.

~V.R.

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